It isn’t always easy being a mom.....let me rephrase that, it is really never easy to be a Mom. However, despite its endless challenges and worries, I am forever grateful for every single moment with my son. He is the one shining light I can always count on every day. No matter what is going on with me - Cam is the constant positive. He is my miracle, and I feel so blessed to have been given the opportunity to raise this child. Today, as I thought about my luck in being given such a wonderful, quirky boy, something suddenly made sense. So much time and energy is spent on needless worry about trivial matters. It seems we are always looking for that one thing, that one moment that will make us happier. We spend so much time looking, we miss what is right in front of us that is perfect.
Why is it that we are always looking for something else? Why can’t we just be happy with what we have? Why is it that what we have is never enough? Why is it that we continue to criticize ourselves and others so mercilessly? I am tired of this mentality. It is exhausting, really, to constantly be wishing for something better. I don’t mean that I don’t want to continue to work towards self-improvement. Motivation to better one’s self is not what I am focusing on. I mean that, now, in this moment, I am deciding to simply be happy with what I have in my family and friends. I need nothing more than to surround myself with those who love and want to be loved.
Cam is the perfect example for that singular focus. His love is unconditional. Today he told me that he was so glad he had been given me. Little does he know, it is I who am forever tearing up when I think about all the gifts he has given to me. In this moment, as I recall his small hand rubbing my arm and telling me how happy he was, I can say that, that love is all I need to persevere. It is that love that gives me the strength to remain positive, to be peaceful in both heart and mind with what I have that is exceptional. I must remind myself, when I find I am slipping down into dismal thoughts about myself or my position in life, of the exceptionality in my life - the exceptionality in my child - the exceptionality in the number of people I do have in my life that truly understand the joys of just “being”. I promise, with this new outlook, I will not start skipping and singing at every turn; however, perhaps, if you look closely, you may see the corners of my mouth turning up, tugging my lips in to a semi-permanent smile. There is much to be happy about in life. And when I forget that - I will have this post as proof!