Monday, September 3, 2012

On the go......

It always amazes me how quickly time flies when taking the day to just putter at “stuff”.  This morning my mental list was very long - work out, put away the pool, laundry, cleaning, yard work, lesson planning, playing with Cam, cooking supper, reading, etc.  Now, as I sit here in the afternoon, I realize that although I have puttered, my list of what got accomplished is satisfying.  But, why, as I sit, does it feel as though I should be doing more?  Perhaps it is a personality trait.  I am constantly looking at what is next.  Relaxation doesn’t ever come easily to me.  I am always busy.  Even sitting to type this seems lax - I could be doing something else.  Did I mention that I am cooking something on my grill and playing Draw Something while I type?  When will I ever be able to give myself permission to simply "be"?  

This constant push to get things done has both negative and positive results.  I seem to accomplish much in a short amount of time; however, I often wonder, in my infrequent moments of quiet, what am I trying to avoid by staying so busy?  As quickly as I begin to contemplate this idea, my mind jumps to what is next on my to-do list.  I never seem to spend enough time just thinking about the what, why and how of myself.  Why am I always on the move?  And, then I seem frantic to those who observe me as I "focus forward".  I am driven - I like to see results of my work.  I constantly feel restless - both in mind and body.  This is why I have started this blog - to begin to force myself to stop, think, and relax.  (And, yes, maybe not multi-task while attempting to write.)  Perhaps, in my quiet moments of musing, I may learn a little something about myself.

No comments:

Post a Comment