Wednesday, September 26, 2012 has been a while since my last post.  You know how it gets in the way.  Appointments, family obligations, work, etc.  Life has just been hectic, and I have not had the frame or peace of mind to post, let alone think about writing something that has any semblance of meaning.  Until, yesterday has been hard.  Why is it that when we lose a loved one, the end seems like our only focus.  Talk of death, talk of final arrangements, talk of burial versus cremation, talk of final resting has been heavy on my mind.  I know that we all have to go at some point.  I get it.  Life can't go on forever.....but why is it that it has to be such a sad occasion?  I know...I know...I miss all those who I have lost in my life, and I have lost many family members and close friends.  It is so hard to say goodbye. 

Today, my family said goodbye to my grandmother.  She had a very sparse service - only very close family.  She did not want the fanfare of the traditional Catholic burial.  I think she got it right....why do we need the big farewell?  Is it for the family left behind....most likely, yes.  But...what is wrong with simple?  What is wrong with celebrating the joy of life rather than mourning the loss?  I have lost loved ones before, but I don't think I was ever at the point to consider my own mortality....Belinda's parent's mortality.....this is not easy.  There are many things to consider.  Belinda wants me to take her back to Gulf Shores...scatter her ashes and drink beer with her brothers at a local Pub.  I think she has the right idea......yes, missing our loved ones is normal,  expected.  But...should we not honor their existence on this earth by doing what they would have done in life?  Live it.  Life is so short.  Life is so important.  Life is too short and important to squander on worry and angst.  My grandmother asked for fanfare.  That is how she lived her life.  She was a quiet woman....but she did touch the lives of many in quiet ways. I think my grandmother underestimated the many lives she did touch.  How many preemie babies wore the hats she knitted?  I know that the hat she made for Cameron was one of the only things that helped him maintain his body heat.  A hat....a simple hat.  She passed the time knitting and donating hats to the NICU for premature babies.  She saved lives, quietly.  I wish I had told her what she had taught me.....that it is not about the is about how you live your is about how you give back.   All the fanfare does not is what you have left behind in your wake......

No comments:

Post a Comment